I’m starting to think that it’s only masochistic bastards who watch the news/read the paper as often as I do. It’s a sick obsession. All that flashes up on the box these days is one grim tail after another. The big-wigs demand ratings and that usually equates to anything that will make your spine tingle and contort in revulsion. Is it too much to ask for one positive story? I could quote Bill Hicks R.I.P at length on this one, but I shall refrain…for now. On with the sordid tail...

The world is a truly dark and foreboding place. Car bombings, suicide bombers, prostitutes being murdered on a whim or as revenge for a sloppy blow-job. Pirates run amok at sea terrorising old, fat, rich businessmen and their supermodel whores…Ah maybe there is hope Eh? Well good old Tony Blair was heckled and then given the silent treatment along with a very mixed response at his very last TUC meeting the other day…He won’t miss those vultures but you can bet they will be praying for h...